I like the second one. Usually I think of the tea's warmth coming in through the lips, but this way it is as if the warmth is inside spreading out... the way just the thought of tea warms me.
After posting this with the first one, I decided to add the second one. I'm happy I did since that one is resonating the most. We attach ourselves to one and struggle to let go...
It's great getting comments on each haiku. Thanks!
I like both, they are each a little different in mood. The sparseness of the second one is almost too austere and elegant..then suddenly lightened by the third line with the friendly and slightly humorous word "tea cup". Just seven words, too, a real tour de force!
n.b. - welcome, I am grateful for your insights. These haiku take on a life of their own, don't they. Btw, I took a gander at your site and really liked what I saw; the gorgeous Fresh Flower image and poem along with the lovely fruit basket - so full of life and hope!
12 comments:
I like the second one. Usually I think of the tea's warmth coming in through the lips, but this way it is as if the warmth is inside spreading out... the way just the thought of tea warms me.
I also like the second one, it gives the reader more room to discover.
I like the first one better. Thanks for directing me here to your blogs.
I like both though if pushed would choose the second. Nice tea cup!
After posting this with the first one, I decided to add the second one. I'm happy I did since that one is resonating the most. We attach ourselves to one and struggle to let go...
It's great getting comments on each haiku. Thanks!
The tea cup is an old friend.
I like that cup, too!
A good poem, either way.
Welcome and thanks, Sandy!
I like both, they are each a little different in mood. The sparseness of the second one is almost too austere and elegant..then suddenly lightened by the third line with the friendly and slightly humorous word "tea cup". Just seven words, too, a real tour de force!
n.b. - welcome, I am grateful for your insights. These haiku take on a life of their own, don't they. Btw, I took a gander at your site and really liked what I saw; the gorgeous Fresh Flower image and poem along with the lovely fruit basket - so full of life and hope!
I love the second one. How would you shorten it further? Warm lips cup (?)
I like the process you've captured here. I also like the moment. Morning tea hasn't been honoured with enough verse, if you ask me.
There is a lot one can do with this. I appreciate the input. I will let it steep a while and see what surfaces.
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