Monday, December 11, 2006

Tea Cup


warm me in winter
touching my frigid lips-
tea cup steaming

I tried to simplify it....still deciding if it works.

warm me
to my lips
tea cup

This is in response to One Deep Breath

12 comments:

cloudscome said...

I like the second one. Usually I think of the tea's warmth coming in through the lips, but this way it is as if the warmth is inside spreading out... the way just the thought of tea warms me.

Mike Mc said...

I also like the second one, it gives the reader more room to discover.

Brian said...

I like the first one better. Thanks for directing me here to your blogs.

Crafty Green Poet said...

I like both though if pushed would choose the second. Nice tea cup!

getzapped said...

After posting this with the first one, I decided to add the second one. I'm happy I did since that one is resonating the most. We attach ourselves to one and struggle to let go...

It's great getting comments on each haiku. Thanks!

The tea cup is an old friend.

Sandy said...

I like that cup, too!
A good poem, either way.

getzapped said...

Welcome and thanks, Sandy!

n.b. said...

I like both, they are each a little different in mood. The sparseness of the second one is almost too austere and elegant..then suddenly lightened by the third line with the friendly and slightly humorous word "tea cup". Just seven words, too, a real tour de force!

getzapped said...

n.b. - welcome, I am grateful for your insights. These haiku take on a life of their own, don't they. Btw, I took a gander at your site and really liked what I saw; the gorgeous Fresh Flower image and poem along with the lovely fruit basket - so full of life and hope!

Elspeth said...

I love the second one. How would you shorten it further? Warm lips cup (?)

Jemima said...

I like the process you've captured here. I also like the moment. Morning tea hasn't been honoured with enough verse, if you ask me.

getzapped said...

There is a lot one can do with this. I appreciate the input. I will let it steep a while and see what surfaces.